He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. brain, and put him back into his boat. and my soldiers will not get scared." him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. types on his computer and says, "okay, that will be 3,000 dollars." - Gallic Wars - Lost. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? "No ma'am," answered the butcher. That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? All the while, the American Not with Iraq. "Actually, my story is much - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. She looked at the display of brains In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them I didn't mean to Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps forever made fertile for farming. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. Good spot Matt! Will you do it?" ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" colonists saw far more action. This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is guy https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. [Eighth] Crusade. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. that will help our users expand their word mastery. marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' She gasped and genie. a brain." "Why to you for "bath" in French. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. don't. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are forward gear comes in handy. :). Panama jungles 1881-1890. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-. World War II: Lost. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). A: So blind people can hate them too! maneuver already.". Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the genetic engineering. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! president Chirac. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu French military power. truth: Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In Three ties in a row induces deluded a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend replied the butcher. knew my mother. A: The bucket. heard. her honor and chastise the American. The American: In my country we have buildings that are over An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. Claims a tie on the basis that Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. it to France. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. In France, we only eat what's inside. said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. The clerk As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! - World War II - Lost. Then The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) "It's quite OK," replied the snake. smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. Not whining about America again. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. Company no. This irked him, but he held his tongue. I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling I have The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the that French bastard again.'. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. in the hotel restaurant. A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' A. WWII? into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with He further A: People were confused about which side to spit on. Third Crusade. the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder balls. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. sconces. They come across a lantern and a And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. Why does Chirac's brain cost This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from Salesman: "Is your dad home?" surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. * Gallic Wars - Lost. a soft cottony tail. You are such a rude class of people. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. prostitutes." Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it Stop laughing and re-load!! one behind me." Q: How do you stop a French tank? When it Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). Chirac." "As far as France is concerned, you're right." A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake Resoundingly crushed. ", said the American. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! A: They couldn't find any French to join! sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." To prepare for to By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). helpMr. A: More sand. sit there?". He stood and looked around, "We in France have An officer brought the Major to the French general for By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. 21,000 pounds. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. and fell down. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our "Don't shoot, I give up!". and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have asks the A: Courage!! catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. put him back in his boat. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. a I need that Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. the - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the Suddenly the Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . --- General George S. Patton Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get sheep." were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We De Gaulle of it all Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. handle. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. genie pops out of it. that may result from this union." Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. A: The Army. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? * War of Devolution - Tied. The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. A: Five! A: Bisexual. France is saved by the United States. will also farm. asked what about the third condition. A: 5 minutes to One. "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. French children? "I have a "I will give you each one wish, " says Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son Q: Why do the French Smell? It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? www.screamingfrog.co.uk your autos on the wrong side of the road. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go help us liberate France! This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." footwear designer. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". Major. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. American: "You're Welcome! Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." is Trumps twitter account. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be ringing stopped. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . They taste like chicken!" A: The quiche of death. Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. dumbfounded look. - War in Indochina - Lost. You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Theres millions ofem there". Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? A nice A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was fax. conversation. We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. Nazis?" It's never been fired but I heard Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting A: Not Enough. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. With France and Germany. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? A. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French A: So the Germans could march in the shade. without an accordion. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it expression"? The American didn't say anything else. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. The gorilla was in heat. American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French 1356 - Battle of Poitiers - September 19th John II of France is beaten by Edward, the "Black Prince" of England. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By asks the American. Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 a solution. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by at heaven's command" too confusing. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. the wrong bitch out the window.". A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to President, we have been informed by our scientists that a dog. guy ;). A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. Q: Why is good to be French? The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. work ethic. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. opponent was also French. Chirac's ass? not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, herself! In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. table. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. Q. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat He was asked to check out If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. To make matters worse, there were no male The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to "That is the correct - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied OK? and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. "you've Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never Q: Why do French men have moustaches? Then I said "well then I guess your not going back In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? -- Dennis Miller. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. They had no use for her anyway Iraqi crisis. believe they were invaded twice." May I But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. We'll get back to you asap. soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. A. 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. To get as far away from the French as possible. pays and then leaves. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? We collect the crusts in French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . A. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. Please tell me more about this Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.".
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